Introverted space princess Saira is devastated when she is unexpectedly dumped by her girlfriend Kiki for being needy. Deep in the depths of despair, Saira is thrown a lifeline when Kiki abruptly calls for help. Kiki has been kidnapped by forgotten incels known as the Straight White Maliens. Problem is, they’re holding her ransom for the one thing Saira doesn’t have: one of the most powerful weapons known to lesbian kind – her royal Labrys!

Panicked and with just 24 hours on the clock, Saira sets out to save her ex in the hopes of winning her back. Along the way, a spaceship with a problematic personality and Willow, a runaway gay-pop idol, join Saira’s hazardous encounters with gloom goo, blade-wielding maniacs, dangerous dick turrets and the scariest thing of all: her own self-doubt.